Do you love Me?. . . it all Depends


Here is my reality check for the day: not everybody loves me.  Some don’t even like me. 

There are people I encounter every day, that as far as I can remember have never said a single kind word to me.   Strangely enough I have even received emails and letters implicitly explaining all the reasons that I am intolerable.  The more cowardly illicit my husband to explain the things I need to change.  While others have been less forthright and simply roll their eyes when they see me, or glaze over whenever I open my mouth to speak.

But nothing says “I can’t stand you” like the Grocery Store dodge.  It is that moment on the cereal aisle when that  person who shows me no favor turns towards the cocoa puffs at the same as I do.  After a brief meeting of the eyes, they dart to the next aisle over and pretend to shop . . . for Depends.  Realizing that somebody would rather compare absorbancy than have to say hello to me is a huge ego crusher.

My mom always told me that anyone who didn’t like me was just jealous.  I used to believe her.  Then one day, I found myself comparing the belted model to the unbelted.  Depends in hand, it occurred to me that I AM  a dodger.  

Sometimes I sneak behind an aisle to avoid contact with that one person, and it has nothing to do with jealousy.  I dodge, because they annoy me, they will take up too much of my time, they hurt me once a long time ago.  In my mind; I don’t get them, they talk too much, I find them peculiar.  There is nothing becoming about it, it is selfish and unkind.   It is also quite a blow when I realize that others avoid me for the same reasons.  I, too, am peculiar.

Which leads me to my second reality check of the day: there are no Depends in love.  I want to pick and choose whom I love,  but if I do, then it is not really love at all. Love by definition is patient and kind.  It doesn’t boast or hold record of wrong.  Love is not jealous, love does not fail.  Love does not dodge.

  Love is a choice that does not depend on how peculiar a person may seem.  Love depends only on the unconditional love that we have received and therefore can give . . . the love we should give.  In all of my faults and failures, God never stops loving me.  The least I can do is to stop my cart for the person who talks too much.

So my final reality check of the day?  I think it’s time to pull up my panties, absorb God’s love, and then let it flow to those around me . . . No Depends needed.

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