Sleeping with the Enemy: The Christian Edition {Holy (Cow) Week Day 4}


For Jason and I, our first fight as a married couple was over the covers.   Just hours after we arrived home from our honeymoon, we crawled into our new bed made up with fresh… Continue reading

Jesus: For Whom the Bell Tolls {Holy (Cow) Week Day 3}


The summer she turned five, my daughter began complaining of pain in her right ear.  I assumed it was related to the excessive amount of time she was spending in the pool.  In… Continue reading

What My Relationship with Ben and Jerry Can Teach You About Jesus {Holy (Cow) Week Day 2}


The other day, I stood in the ice cream aisle of the grocery store consulting with Ben and Jerry, when a young woman approached me.  I recognized her from my spin class.  She grabbed… Continue reading

Holy (Cow) Week


At seven, I sat sobbing in the back row of LaSelle Auditorium having failed to make the cut.  I had auditioned to be a mouse in the local ballet performance of The Nutcracker.  After the announcement of  call-backs,… Continue reading

Waiting for God to Pimp My Ride


I went to College in Southern California.  Without a car.  I had a bike.  I also learned the hard way that riding a bike in Southern California (when not bikini clad and on… Continue reading

Destroying My Mental Health; One Bowl of Oatmeal at a Time


Every morning I stop at the local health food Store for a bowl of  hot oatmeal. The store is actually a Co-op; meaning you can pay a ridiculous fee in exchange for a… Continue reading

The Stupid Things Our Children Make Us Say


This week is Spring Break for my children.  Unfortunately for them,  we aren’t poolside in Cabo nor building sand castles in Miami.  They are experiencing the joys of a Northwest Spring Break; torrential… Continue reading

What Do You Do with All of the Poohs?


My children transferred schools last summer.  In the process, I got a brief glimpse at my daughter’s records.  They included report cards from: two preschools, two elementary schools, and five different teachers.  I… Continue reading

My Comment Box is Full . . . So You Can Keep Yours to Yourself


  Today, while teaching an aerobics class for seniors, my favorite 91-year-old approached me with an inquisitive look.  “Are those pants new,” she asked. “No,”  I replied. “Have you worn them before,”  she prodded unsatisfied.… Continue reading

My Mother’s No Dirty Hippie


My mother is what I like to call a clean hippie.  Thanks to her; I both apreciate the value of a good pair of Birkenstocks,while still abhorring the smell of patchouli.  I eat tofurky and… Continue reading

Peanut Butter in the Bathtub


Sometimes I eat peanut butter and jelly in the bathtub.  It is a habit that originated out of necessity:  needing both to eat and shower in less than ten minutes.  Choosing stinky or… Continue reading

What if Grace Really is Amazing?


The other day, my boss sent out an email reminding all the Personal Trainers  to ‘clean-up’ after themselves.  I assumed immediately that it was directed solely at me.  I do tend to leave… Continue reading

Is God Playing Games with Me?


I hate games, and I am married to a Youth Pastor. I hate games, and I am married to a man who sucks the cream out of Twinkies and replaces it with tuna… Continue reading

Uptown Girls (and a Boy)


I have spent 28 of my 30 years in the Northwest, but until last weekend had never been to Seattle.  Ironically, it was my 8-year-old (who has way more of a life than I… Continue reading

Just Dance


  At some point in marriage, one must embrace the things that simply cannot be agreed upon.  One must stop fighting, and start dancing.  My husband has a strange affinity for dish towels… Continue reading

Maybe It’s Not a Small World After All


My mother remodeled her bathroom this summer.  It took her months to choose a new toilet. Once on order, she boasted of its magnificance, and hoped upon hope that she could have it installed in time… Continue reading

Playtime


For the most part, teaching Elementary PE really is all fun and games.  But there is a moment in every class that I dread. It comes after the warm-up and stretch, after I’ve… Continue reading

What Child is This!?


While dating my husband, I wrestled with just one doubt as to our compatibility: he wanted a little girl.  Not just any little girl, but a blond-haired, blue-eyed, skinny one.  The kind that… Continue reading

Christmas Doesn’t Stink . . . It’s Just Pewie


My husband is a Pastor.  So Christmas is like his “busy Season.”  The hubbub is always the same.  Christmas means more people.  More people means more cars, and the parking lot remains the same. … Continue reading

Christmas Spirit? Sock it to me!


While many Americans elbowed their way towards the light of a price-slashed flat screen; I spent my Black Friday strolling into our small town Kmart at 5:00 am, amidst a crowd of ten.  Not one to regularly… Continue reading