Breeding Hips and a Shot Put Future

I spent most of my adolescent years as “the fat kid.”  I endured the teasing on the playground, accepted  my place in the back row, and conceded my Second Grade teacher’s accusations of eating my… Continue reading

No Hablo Engineer

I live and breathe (not to mention teach) under the presumption that I communicate well:  a theory tested twice per week between 11:15 am and Noon.  It is during that time on Mondays and Wednesdays… Continue reading

A Few Choice Words

Years ago, my boss nominated me to buy a card for a female coworker on leave and in the hospital.  I knew nothing of her ailment, only that nobody was talking — with the exception… Continue reading

50 Miles to a New Motto

One week, and 50 miles later, I’m finally ready to write about my big race.  Eleven hours on the Pacific Crest Trail left me  with plenty to talk about: giant blisters, a rock lodged… Continue reading

50 miles, Old Growth, and No Comfy Chairs

My first trail run was 4.5 miles long, 500 feet of climbing, and the hardest run of my life.  My first trail race was 9.3 miles long, 1500 feet of climbing, and the… Continue reading

Why Turning Thirty Doesn’t Blow

Tomorrow I turn thirty.  Which means today was my last day to be young and stupid (according to my mother.)  In honor of this momentous last chance I blew-up a pool toy while driving.… Continue reading

Moderation ‘Aint My Middle Name

I would like to think that I regularly demonstrate temperance and moderation.  Though you might find the wrapper to a single-serving cookie shoved under the seat of my car, my house is completely devoid… Continue reading

Shot to the Heart

Today, I shot out of a tube into a body of water, in a bikini no less, with dozens of people I know watching.  There was no swan dive at the bottom, instead… Continue reading

If the Shoe Fits

  Life often has repeating themes.  One of mine is silver heels. In May of 2000, I bought my first pair of silver heels.  Against my better judgment, I allowed my college roommate… Continue reading

More Cowbell! (a big fan in a small town)

I live in a small town.  My small town has all the same offerings as the big city . . .only . . . smaller. My sister lives in Minneapolis.  They have a… Continue reading

Pet Peeves

courtesy flickr There are people who have animals and people who have pets. People who have animals put them on leashes, feed them dry food, and forget to put presents for them under… Continue reading

Blame it on the Rain

  If you have never crimped your hair nor worn Hammer Pants (aka parachute pants), then you also probably have no clue who or what is Milli-Vanilli.  I crimped my hair.  I even prayed for… Continue reading

Homeland Insecurities?

On the first 80 degree day of the year, everyone in my small town pulled out their flip-flops and slid into a pair of shorts.  Everyone except for young Dale. There is nothing I dread… Continue reading

A Good Idea Gone Parenting

Around five-years-old, in a search for independence, my daughter determined that she could now shower unattended.  After a few post-shower investigations (fingering the scalp to make sure it was wet all the way through,… Continue reading

Roller Rink Reasoning

From September until now, somewhere around lunch time, I took a left on Highway 99 and headed North towards Santiam Christian Elementary.  As I drove; I rummaged around to find a whistle, predicted who would cry… Continue reading

Lost and Found on WordPress

I admit it, I check my blog stats almost daily.  I count my hits (I average 3 a day), check for new email subscribers (I am up to 11), I scan the list of what people are reading (a post or… Continue reading

Show-and-Tell Discrimination

My mom loves big dogs. Her first big dog was a 150 pound Bernese Mountain Dog named Jack (or Jalapeno Jack of Hearts according to the birth certificate). Everyone said he was too big for… Continue reading

Does My Butt Look Slanted in Spandex?

If the title of this blog made you uncomfortable, then you know exactly how I felt lying on the therapist’s table as he kinesiotaped my backside.   It started with a rolled-up pereformis which lead… Continue reading

Do you love Me?. . . it all Depends

Here is my reality check for the day: not everybody loves me.  Some don’t even like me.  There are people I encounter every day, that as far as I can remember have never… Continue reading

Valor in a Leopard Print Unitard

My daughter recently earned a spot on her club’s gymnastic team.  Today I sat through the first of many three-hour practices.  After witnessing dozens of flips, spins, and upside down thingys; I decided that gymnasts… Continue reading