Gap Outlet

Christmas day, 1985 my dad picked my two older sisters and I up in his smoke-filled 1967 Volvo. A car I despised until he upgraded to a 1975 lime pinto with a moldy ceiling, and then I missed… Continue reading →

Rumor Has It: My Life with Twang

Last week my life played a bit like a country music song, minus the banjo and cowboy hat.  My dog died, it would not stop raining, my mother-in-law (whom I love) came to… Continue reading →

He’s Not a Stalker . . . He’s a Pastor

*Editor’s Note:  I was given some feedback that my choice of words might give the impression that Jason and I have said “good-bye”  to each other.  ‘Tis not the case!  We, as in… Continue reading →

God’s Love Aint a Country Western Song

My daughter has a fantastic capacity to take everything I say and turn it into something I didn’t say at all. I say: “Hey T, you need to fold your laundry.” She screams:… Continue reading →

Faith not Dooty

When assigning chores to my children, I followed all appropriate gender stereotypes and told my son to start scooping dog poop.  I sweetened the deal by offering fifty cents per scoop.  He, being brilliant,… Continue reading →

I Can See Clearly Now

I have a daughter.  She is nine.  While pregnant I fantasized that her and I would spend our days together playing tennis, sipping Starbucks, and having completely logical conversations about life.   I tried to be realistic, figuring we would have… Continue reading →

Sometimes, You Should Spare the Rod

I once saw an interview with Lady Gaga.  When asked to account for her fame, she simply explained that she studied it. All of her antics: the raw meat mini skirt, the strange… Continue reading →

Failure: It’s the New Black

It’s funny which memories from childhood linger in my mind. One of the most vivid moments of my thirteenth year came at a soccer practice where my coach tried to instill in us the… Continue reading →

(Midlife) Crisis Averted . . . For now

My friend Janine gave me a Bondi Band; a six-inch strip of sweat-wicking lycra with three stitches to create a headband.  I slid it on, admiring the neon pink and black polk-a-dots.  I fell in… Continue reading →

Wanted

I wanted another dog. More specifically I wanted Gus; the 90 pound Weimaraner featured on the rescue sight as the perfect dog. I wanted him, and I got him. But he is not the perfect dog.… Continue reading →

Big Dogs and Popsicles

I see her every day on the trails; four-foot nine and in her seventies, walking in an over-sized sun hat and white pleated pants, holding a leash connected to the biggest Huskie dog I have ever seen.  My off-leash… Continue reading →

A Not-so-Magic Carpet Ride

I often face criticism for the amount I work and my pursuit of busy.  What most people don’t realize is that my on-the-go lifestyle is really just an elaborate scheme to avoid folding laundry. … Continue reading →

Get New Dogs, But Keep the Old

  Taking into consideration my two kids, four jobs, 1 dog, beta fish, and husband who is home every other Saturday; I decided what I really needed was another dog.  Because nothing brings peace to chaos like… Continue reading →

Relaying the Message

Before the Adidas Oscillation and Nike Lunar, before the New Balance Minimus and Vibram five-fingered, before roll bars and gel heels; there were just Keds.  They came in thousands of color combinations and all the cool kids wore… Continue reading →

Thirty-One and Milking It

Yesterday I turned 31.  I can now officially say that I am “thirty something.”  So when someone asks my age I can wink and say, “thirty . . . something.”  My coyness will make… Continue reading →

Hope De”feet”ed

                  My feet are not my finest feature. Best described as what might happen if Fred Flinstone and Barbie reproduced; they are as wide as they are… Continue reading →

Aint No Berry Like an Oregon Berry

  For $6.99 I can hit the big box store and get three pounds of oversized strawberries.  Shiny and red on the outside, their deception lies in the first bite when the red skin gives… Continue reading →

It’s Just Like Riding a Bike

My seven-year-old son still can’t ride a bike.  A huge parenting failure, especially considering I teach spin and keep cycling a regular part of my own fitness regimen.   My real mistake was making his first set of wheels… Continue reading →

For Shawna

For me, the joy of trail running is in the hills; the burning of my quads as my feet push forward at a deceptively slow pace; the battle between the body screaming to quit and the will… Continue reading →

Is God Making a Mean Face at Me?

My son’s first baseball team had all the makings of the Bad News Bears.  Minus the happy ending.  I knew something was off at his very first game.  The opposing team lined up… Continue reading →